This week’s theme is BADASS CG CREATURES WITH SCALES!!!! No but really: Josh and Alex break down the first four episodes of this season of Game of Thrones, in a new segment that doesn’t yet have a name. Then they make themselves and everyone else feel old by discussing the 20th anniversary of Jurassic Park, which they just relived in the theatre (in three whole dimensions!). It’s basically hug a reptile week.

PODCATS FOREVERRRRRRRR. It’s true, Alex and Josh saw Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers and they’re kind of obsessed with it now. They discuss it in depth, along with Chan Wook Park’s Stoker, and concede that one was way more interesting than the other. Additionally, Alex quibbles with Rifftrax’s poll designation of Twilight as the worst film of all time and gets out of breath explaining why Queen of the Damned is a way way way worse film, while Josh just tries his damnedest to explain some Kickstarter campaigns.

Alex and Josh discuss the hullabaloo surrounding the Veronica Mars kickstarter and the upcoming SyFy channel “transmedia experience”, Defiance. They also throw out some fresh rhymes for Lee Van Cleef movies, Battlestar Galactica, Deadwood, Justified and Chan-wook Park’s American debut, Stoker. Then they get super arthouse and shit with Alex’s take on Devyn Waitt’s Not Waving But Drowning and The Taiwan Oyster. There’s so much jaw-flappin’ in this pint sized episode that you’ll swear there’s a frakkin’ helicopter about to take off. Worry not, for it’s just the confabulation of two nerds, fixin’ to grease the grimey gears of gossip and highest of high-brow, eye-brow lifting conversation for the delight and contentment of the populace of this great U. S. of Internet.

Alex and Josh return from their unplanned hiatus to discuss who went home with a little man on Oscars night, and who just went home with a little gold statue. It’s an action-packed, lean and mean 53 minutes of cajoling and criticism aimed squarely at the hoity-toity, upper-crust of Hollywood’s Elite (and Seth MacFarlane). Also, unless you are completely unfamiliar with the winners, this episode represents our first ever spoiler-free affair. Finally, you can listen with impunity as we only vaguely describe the plots to some of the most critically lauded films of 2012!

Josh and Alex are in the midst of the winter blahs—now that they’ve seen Django Unchained, there’s very little in the cinemas to look forward to. Instead they’ve been delving into Unchained’s predecessors, like Django and Drum. They talk Tarantino, wax poetic about Franco Nero’s beard, and look forward to revisiting more Westerns this winter. They also compare two nerd culture indie films currently streaming on Netflix, and decide that The FP is everything wrong with hipster cinema, while Unicorn City is a great example of how to tease a subculture without being an asshole to them or anyone else.

As you read this, there are a lot of words being written and posted to the internet about Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained. A new Tarantino is an occasion, a dumping ground for all kinds of opinions, a hanger for our hang-ups. Out there, right now, someone is comparing this one to his last one, or the ones before that; someone is charting the synergies and differences between Unchained and its obvious predecessor, 1966′s Django, or its other obvious predecessor, 1976′s Drum, or probably a host of other, less obvious predecessors.

Me? I’m thinking about Moby-Dick.

It’s the last episode of 2012! Josh and Alex delve deep into their thoughts about The Hobbit, from Barry Humphries’s goiter to Martin Freeman’s hobbity little ass. They also try to say something about the non-action-blockbuster films they saw this year, but frankly, there weren’t many. They get meta about the work of Wes Anderson, prognosticate on the Oscar narrative for this year, and look forward to what the future brings.

As the year draws to a close, Josh and Alex take a look back at their favorite—and least favorite—action blockbusters of 2012. Find out what they loved and what they hated! Hear them finally tear into The Dark Knight Rises in full! Hear wild speculation about the future of Hollywood’s major franchises!

In this episode, #TheBondProject takes over Josh and Alex’s lives. They get in depth with the latest movie in the James Bond franchise, Skyfall, and revisit some old classics to see how they hold up. Alex can’t stop gushing about Daniel Craig, while Josh is concerned that rewatching GoldenEye might ruin his good memories of the eponymous N64 game.

Those naked women got me thinking not about their film counterparts’ inevitable deaths, but rather about their inevitable sex acts. I thrill equally when Craig’s Bond gets the wife of the small-time criminal alone on the floor of his hotel villa, or the adamant but eventually swayed retrieval agent naked in their 5-star shared suite. It’s similar to how I feel when Connery’s Bond presents his Russian double agent with a trousseau of sexy nightgowns in their private train cabin, or even when Brosnan’s Bond finally charms his way past the proper exterior of his MI6 assigned psychologist.

I really like it when Bond gets the girl.

#NoirNovember has arrived, and ain’t she a dame. Josh and Alex sit down in a crudely-lit corner to work their way through several neo-noirs and one old black and white classic. Can they solve the mystery of James Ellroy’s melting clay dog, tell the good girl from the femme fatale (hint: one of them is Robin Tunney), and keep you from slipping into the dark underworld of Chinatown’s 1990 sequel?

#OccultOctober continues! Josh and Alex discuss the scary stuff they’ve been watching, including V/H/S and the films of Ti West, Daniel Radcliffe’s eyebrows, Freddy vs. Jason vs. Alien vs. Predator, and all the unexpected places a person might find Keanu Reeves.