This week’s theme is BADASS CG CREATURES WITH SCALES!!!! No but really: Josh and Alex break down the first four episodes of this season of Game of Thrones, in a new segment that doesn’t yet have a name. Then they make themselves and everyone else feel old by discussing the 20th anniversary of Jurassic Park, which they just relived in the theatre (in three whole dimensions!). It’s basically hug a reptile week.

PODCATS FOREVERRRRRRRR. It’s true, Alex and Josh saw Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers and they’re kind of obsessed with it now. They discuss it in depth, along with Chan Wook Park’s Stoker, and concede that one was way more interesting than the other. Additionally, Alex quibbles with Rifftrax’s poll designation of Twilight as the worst film of all time and gets out of breath explaining why Queen of the Damned is a way way way worse film, while Josh just tries his damnedest to explain some Kickstarter campaigns.

Kneedeep in research on 1980s cinematic styles and color palettes, I took a sick day. Sometimes you just have to. Camped out in bed, halfheartedly read some articles, and fired up Hulu for a background soundtrack of related—but not too related—films to get me through the day.

Criterion was featuring several Jim Jarmusch films, so I took the opportunity to dig through his back catalog.

Alex and Josh discuss the hullabaloo surrounding the Veronica Mars kickstarter and the upcoming SyFy channel “transmedia experience”, Defiance. They also throw out some fresh rhymes for Lee Van Cleef movies, Battlestar Galactica, Deadwood, Justified and Chan-wook Park’s American debut, Stoker. Then they get super arthouse and shit with Alex’s take on Devyn Waitt’s Not Waving But Drowning and The Taiwan Oyster. There’s so much jaw-flappin’ in this pint sized episode that you’ll swear there’s a frakkin’ helicopter about to take off. Worry not, for it’s just the confabulation of two nerds, fixin’ to grease the grimey gears of gossip and highest of high-brow, eye-brow lifting conversation for the delight and contentment of the populace of this great U. S. of Internet.

Alex and Josh return from their unplanned hiatus to discuss who went home with a little man on Oscars night, and who just went home with a little gold statue. It’s an action-packed, lean and mean 53 minutes of cajoling and criticism aimed squarely at the hoity-toity, upper-crust of Hollywood’s Elite (and Seth MacFarlane). Also, unless you are completely unfamiliar with the winners, this episode represents our first ever spoiler-free affair. Finally, you can listen with impunity as we only vaguely describe the plots to some of the most critically lauded films of 2012!